Monkey Kidneys & Ethics

Surprisingly, monkey kidney cells are very expensive (I am being sarcastic). What kind of underworld, black market shady dealings do you have to perform to get "monkey kidney"? I presume very unseemly indeed if the acquired monkey kidney tissue is frequently unreliable.

Basically my question is, can you kill monkeys in America?
And if yes,
were these monkeys free range?

Obscure Medical Condition (1/2)

Several weeks ago I woke up in the middle of the night. I wake up in the middle of the night a lot--I've never been a good sleeper. Usually when I wake up in the middle of the night, I resign myself to the fact that I'll either be awake for the next two hours or I'll take another benadryl and I'll be asleep within the next two hours. But this night I notice something unusual when I swing my feet over the side of my bed to get some benadryl: I can't feel my right foot.

At first I assume this is just a thing, like how your appendages--arms, feet, hands--lose sensation in a variety of situations. But once I've taken my benadryl and am sitting on the side of my bed, I begin rubbing my foot and I still can't feel my middle toe. After about two minutes I begin freaking out, or as much as one can freak out in the middle of the night: rocking back and forth, mumbling prayer-esque incantations, crying.

The symptom, the chief complaint if you will, is Peripheral Neuropathy.

I pull up a differential diagnosis in my mind. Top of the list, do-not-miss: Diabetic Neuropathy. This is terrifying because I am twenty-three years old. Statistically, I have a lot more life to live. I don't want to live it without my legs. But there are more diagnoses--less depressing than diabetic neuropathy, but still depressing.

Chronic Alcohol Abuse. I drink a lot. I assumed I was safely staying within my Federally Mandated limit of two drinks a night. But maybe I was drinking much, much more than that. Although alcohol abuse and pancreatic cancer aren't directly tied to one another, I am still pretty terrified that I will get cancer, and over drinking to the point of developing peripheral neuropathy seems like over drinking enough to give me some type of cancer. Even worse: Alcoholics can develop Korsakoff-Wernicke's syndrome. Now Wernicke's aphasia would be awesome! But the Korsakoff part of Korsakoff-Wernicke's leads to being delusional and "confabulation." I don't need to be any more delusional than I already am.

[Question: Why does chronic alcohol abuse lead to peripheral neuropathy? Answer: A) Alcohol dehydrogenase requires oxidizing agents and can quickly use up important molecules like thiamine (Vitamin B1) or B) Drinking distracts your liver from doing other important things, so that it can't send out as much cycling lipids as it should. Neuron helper cells can't keep producing myelin, and you lose nerve conductance. At least I think this is how it works... If you have a better way of explaining it, please share!]

Malnutrition. I had been on a diet the entire summer. It was great: lost 15 pounds, and now my BMI is 22--super normal. However, there were days when I went "overboard." I tell myself it takes a lot of willpower to only eat 565 calories a day, but it's still probably not a good idea. Being able to lose a pound in a day feels awesome! But really, you should be losing that much in a week, if not even over longer time periods. I tried to eat well, the little I did eat was healthy, but it's possible my body needed more and began shirking its biosynthesis responsibilities, resulting in me losing sensation in one of my feet.

So what do you think I have?

Patient History

Patient is a reliable, 23-year-old diabetic (DM type 1).

CC: Patient's chief complaint is an inability to feel her feet.

Past Medical History

Patient has been diagnosed with:

sickle cell trait (congenital)

exercised-induced asthma (age 8)

seasonal allergies (age 8)

Diabetes Mellitus Type 1 (age 13)

anemia (age 15)

hypertension (age 18)

hyperlipidemia (age 18)

depression (age 19)

Medication

Patient is currently on:

Humalog (short acting insulin)

Lantus (long acting insulin)

Nasonex (seasonal allergies/allergic rhinitis)

Fexofenadine (seasonal allergies)

Atorvastatin (hyperlipidemia)

Vitamin B12 (2000 mcg/day)

Social History

Patient denies recreational drug use. Patient admits to smoking cigarettes, about 8/year and having 1-3 drinks/day, occasionally drinking more (6-8 drinks/night) on weekends. 

Patient exercises about 30 minutes everyday.

Family History

Patient's father is alive, has hypertension that has been controlled by diet, and glaucoma.

Patient's mother is alive, has dyslipidemia, and had breast cancer in 2007. Currently in remission.

Both patient's sisters are alive and healthy.

So what do you think I have?

Campus Security

Prompted by a reader, I now publish the entirety of a warning sent to our school through e-mail from the Director of Campus Security:

Today at 1215 Campus Security received a call from a lab that a suspicous person was looking into labs and offices on the 3rd floor of the BSB.

The individual was tracked by camera and eventually approached by security after he walked through the 2nd floor and part of the Lower Level.

He stated he was looking for two individuals he met at a club. Neither person was in our database.

We have his name and Driver's License number.

He was advised that he was trespassing and warned not to return.

Please make sure you keep your office or lab secured when not occupied,personal belongings secured and call Security immediately at X3288 if you notice anyone or anything suspicous.

We have a serious problem. Lab assistants have enough time to go to clubs.

some of my friends are talented...

Yes. I have friends. 

I don't know what the general public thinks medical students are like. But some of us are pretty cool. Including my friend Colin, who for some reason really likes turning designs into t-shirts. I don't think I've ever seen any design or artwork from him that wasn't already on a t-shirt when presented to me. 

Quite. Fascinating.

Now we just need to sell these beauts. 

Powerpoint Presentations

I really miss jazzy powerpoint presentations. It's not that this material is boring, per se. Most of it is actually fascinating. I know our professors work hard, but I want physical proof that they are working as hard if not harder than me. Selfish, I know, but medical school is pretty lonely and isolating. I want to think that our professors' lives are also spent toiling away reading and re-writing notes.

But in all actuality, I just want a beautiful powerpoint presentation.

Last year, in Biochemistry, for the protein section, our professor put in actual sound effects to explain various ways proteins could be manufactured through transaminases. It was corny--(the sound effect was usually one of a chime)--but it was also awesome.

AND THEN! One of our physiology professors actually explained the molecular basis of muscle contractions by using, and illustrating, actual pictures of famous people (and one professor) through a powerpoint presentation. Amazing.

Today in Micro we got the above. It was great.

....I'm worried Medical School has lowered my standards of what certifies as "exciting."